George Orwell predicted a time when we would change our words to soften the truth and the impact of our actions.  His chilling prophecy has been fulfilled but the numbing effect is not limited to words.  We usually think of a lexicon as a type of dictionary, a record of literal definitions. Allow me to introduce a whole new kind of lexicon, a lexicon of phrases; Orwellian, Newspeak type, Politically Correct phrases. So here’s your chance. Test yourself and see how quickly you decipher the coded messages behind the touchy- feely pop rhetoric.

 

In the interest of being as inclusive as possible, allow me to start light, with some familiar examples which all of us (liberal or conservative) can relate to and agree upon.  After that, I’m afraid my conservative peers will enjoy the exercise more than liberals. But perhaps those who find this truth difficult will at least find it informative. After all, honest education is often embraced only after much kicking and screaming.

 

We’ll begin with a simple restaurant:

 

HOSTESS AT A BUSY RESTAURANT, RIGHT AFTER YOU WALK IN AND APPROACH HER:   “I’ll be right with you.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “Actually I have no idea when I will be with you except that I know it’s going to take a good long time.   After all, if I were really going to be right with you, I wouldn’t have needed to say anything. But since I just acknowledged your presence, you’re going to be cool about it, aren’t you?”

 

 

A WAITRESS, AFTER YOU HAVE ASKED HER TO CHECK ON AN ORDER THAT IS TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME:  “It’s coming right up.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “We lost it and if you hadn’t said anything we would never have even remembered anything about it. Since you just said something, we quickly threw it on the grill.”

 

OK. Now that wasn’t too painful, was it?  Getting the point?  People do not always speak what they mean.

 

One more easy example before we bring on the big guns:

 

 

RECORDED VOICE FROM A MOVIE THEATER SCREEN, LONG BEFORE THE FEATURED PRESENTATION: “Welcome to The Pre-Show Entertainment.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “Welcome to twenty minutes of commercials.  These commercials build revenue for our theaters because the 10 dollars you just shelled out for your ticket and the 17 dollars you spent on a box of Milk Duds is not enough.”

 

All right.  Time to leave the world of food and films: Let’s get into the heart of it:

 

 

DEMOCRATIC SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN:   “The rich have to pay their fair share.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “Those who work must pay for those who don’t work.”

 

 

LIBERAL EDUCATORS:  “We’re concerned that home schools aren’t functioning with the same academic standards as the public schools.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “Home Schools do not allow us to indoctrinate your children by explaining that one out of four of them is gay and that Heather has two mommies.”

 

MEXICAN ACTIVIST LEADING A RALLY ON AN AMERICAN COLLEGE CAMPUS:  “America is supposed to be a country of compassion.  We must fight against the racism being perpetrated against immigrants.”

 

 

TRANSLATION:  “California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas should belong to Mexico.  We can best facilitate this ambitious goal through open boarders for ILLEGAL immigrants and statements about compassion or racism embraced by stupid people whose guilt buttons get easily pushed.”

 

COLLEGE PROFESSOR:  “Those nasty conservatives believe in censorship.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “If a conservative guest speaker comes out to our campus, throw a pie in his face before he gets a chance to talk.”

 

COLLEGE RELIGIOUS STUDIES TEACHER: “In this class we will not critique religions. We will merely look at what they teach.  We will also learn to tolerate all religions.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “In this class, we will not critique any religion but Christianity.  We will learn to tolerate all religions except Christianity. On the day other religions are taught, we will see how beautiful they are.  On the day Christianity is taught, we will see how the Bible is a racist, homophobic, sexist, book that promotes genocide and contradicts itself.”

 

GAY ACTIVIST:  Gays are feeling persecuted. All we ask is that we receive the same equal rights as everyone else.  The key word is tolerance. That’s fair, isn’t it?

 

TRANSLATION:  “We want to someday make it against the law for you to say that our lifestyle is wrong. If you speak against us we will throw you in prison.  But prison and restricted speech is a small price to pay for tolerance.”

 

AN ELECTED OFFICIAL:  “The American people want bi-partisanship.”

 

TRANSLATION:  This is what Democrats say when they are the minority party of Congress.

 

AN ELECTED OFFICIAL AGAIN:  “The American people have spoken.”

 

TRANSLATION:  This is what Democrats say when they have won back the House and the Senate.

 

PLANNED PARENTHOOD  “All we want is for women to hear both sides so they can make an informed choice.”

 

TRANSLATION:   “All we want is to convince women that they should have an abortion.  In fact, some of us even want to see America adapt China’s law of allowing no more than one child per family.  When that day comes, we will stop using the word choice and accomplish our agenda with a new word.”

 

A LIBERAL IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT WITH A CONSERVATIVE: “You’re a fascist!”

 

TRANSLATION:  “I do not know how to counter the points you just made.”

 

BARAK OBAMA:  “Our country needs change.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “Our country needs to implement the stuff Ted Kennedy has been yapping about for the last 30 years.”

 

BARAK OBAMA AGAIN: “We need unity.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “We will have unity when the conservatives stop being conservative and adapt all of our liberal positions.”

 

HILLARY: “I have always been for the war in Iraq.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “I see in the polls that the war is becoming successful and gaining  popularity.”

 

HILLARY AGAIN:  “I have always been against the war in Iraq.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “I see in the polls that the war is becoming unpopular again.”

 

MUSLIM SPOKESPERSON ON CABLE NEWS SHOW:  “We categorically renounce all terrorism.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “We define terrorists as Israel and the United States when they kill people from Hamas or Al Queda.”

 

MUSLIM SPOKESPERSON ON CABLE NEWS: SECOND COMMENT: “We must end the hate speech and intolerance against Islam.”

 

TRANSLATION:  “We must protect our scriptures which command us to hate and murder Christians and Jews.”

 

 

This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.

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How a Reformed Jew Became an Evangelical Christian Part One

Also:

Politically Correct Quiz

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