Stop right there! If you have not yet seen the movie Cloverfield and you are planning such a
weekend outing, read no further. I am
about to review the movie and my review will give things away. Actually, it’s
less of a review and more of a moral commentary on the nature of contemporary
film marketing. Be that as it may, I have no desire to ruin your cinematic
experience, the way two bratty little kids ruined mine back in the late sixties
as I watched the original Planet of the
Apes. The punch line, of course, was
that three astronauts thought they were on a planet billions of light years
away from Earth. It turned out they had really been on Earth in the far future.
They had been home the whole time and this was not revealed until the very end
of the movie. That is, it was supposed to be revealed at the end. In my case,
it was revealed at the very beginning of the movie. One of the
delinquents sitting in front of me had seen the movie before, so he gleefully
announced to his friend (in full, stereophonic lungs that carried over the
entire theater) where the astronauts really were during the first five minutes
of the movie. ( Oh. Some of you readers have never seen Planet of the Apes
either? Sorry.)
Anyway, I said this article
was mostly about film marketing. The problem with Cloverfield was not in the movie itself, but the preview of the movie. Let me explain: I
hate the way they preview movies today.
And when I say that I hate it, what I mean is, I REALLY HATE ! I hate it with a passion! They give the audience
no benefit for intelligence and they show almost every crucial scene in
chronological order. They assume people are so stupid that if they don’t
already know the entire story, they can’t decide ahead of time whether or not
to buy a ticket. There are many movies I’ve never seen but I feel like I’ve
seen them because I saw the previews. Once, when my daughter returned home
after going to the movies with her friends to sample, While You Were Sleeping, I tried an experiment:
“Now don’t tell me,” I said. “Let me see if I can relay the entire story
and remember, I’ve seen only the preview.”
Well, I was right on the money but I do not boast. Anyone
else could have done the same. All they would have had to do was show up early
before the feature presentation and watch 5 shrunken films called “previews.”
Now, mind you, these light romantic comedies have such simpleton, pea brain
plots, that even without a chronological crystal ball style, foreshadow, we
could still guess the ending. How many
times have we seen someone chase their lover on the way to the airport, confess
their feelings in front of a crowd of spectators and then kiss while everyone
claps? That’s the Hollywood
of today. If an ending works, recycle it a hundred more times. The fact that we
see the predictable ending spelled out in a preview before we even get a chance
to watch the stupid picture, makes the phenomenon even more ironic.
It’s even sadder with the occasional creative movie. I
remember back in the eighties, when this type of give away preview first hit
the market. I watched the trailers for two very original films, each with
creative twist endings; the Science Fiction, Enemy Mine and the court
thriller, Jagged Edge. These
previews gave everything away. What could have been a fun theater experience
was completely ruined.
Alfred Hitchcock knew how to preview a motion picture. When
you were done watching one of his trailers, you knew absolutely nothing about
the story but you couldn’t wait to see it.
In fact you were desperate to see it.
Hitchcock came from a different time and a different breed of film
makers.
Not that we don’t have some promising artists today. J.J.
Abrams is also a great director. Who
knows? He may even be an embryonic
Hitchcock. Time will tell. His episodic television
series, Lost is just about the finest
drama ever to grace the tube. Cloverfield was no less creative and
innovative. Chances are, Abrams himself
had nothing to do with the way the movie was marketed and it may be unfair to
hold a bad preview against a good movie. Nevertheless, studios have to take
responsibility for their products and that includes the advertising.
What was wrong with the preview? At first, seemingly nothing. In some ways it reminded me of Hitchcock.
Something was destroying New York City,
something powerful enough to knock the head off of the Statue of Liberty. The last line of the preview showed a college
age guy talking into his cell phone camera, “If you’re watching this video you
know more about what’s going on than we do.”
“Now that’s a great preview,” I said to myself.
So what’s the problem?
The problem is this trailer turned out to be the biggest cheat of all.
At the end of the movie, you still knew nothing about what was going on. In fact, the last words of the movie were the
last words of the preview, that same college kid telling us he didn’t know what
was going on. Oh sure, we got a look or two at a monster but we had pretty much
already figured that there was some kind of monster from the preview. Who was
this monster? Where had it come from?
The movie never told us.
Now, mind you, a movie with an open, interpretive ending may
bother some but it doesn’t bother me. Again, my problem is not with the movie
itself, only the preview. I love it when a film refuses to wrap everything up
into a neat, tidy little package. They say one of the most enjoyable
experiences about watching 2001 in theaters was standing around in the
lobby afterwards, listening to people argue over what the movie was trying to
say.
So what is the problem with Cloverfield? Namely
this: Although the preview supposedly
gave away nothing, it actually gave away everything.
It was as bad as all the other trailers.
Why? Because we saw a preview
about some friends in New York
whose party was interrupted suddenly by some scary creature attacking New
York and then we anxiously awaited opening night only
to see a whole movie which, when it ended, had revealed nothing that we didn’t
already know. Maybe the twist of the
film was that the ending was speculative but we saw a preview with that exact same twist. Even worse,
the preview was also a cheat. It teased us and never delivered. The
whole reason people flooded to the film itself was to find out what the preview
promised we would find out. And yet we found out nothing. Again, that would
have been a worthy novelty in its own rite. It’s just that this worthy novelty
had already been there in the cliff notes.
This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.
Bob Siegel graduated San Jose
State University
with a degree in Drama. He has written
14 plays, including the award winning, Eternal
Reach.