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Finally, Some Sound Bites For Conservatives!


I have written many long and detailed blogs about the election, but unfortunately, we live in an age of sound bites, mantras and cute little sayings. Politicians hope that if people repeat these words often enough, they will feel like Dorothy, clicking her heals together three times and repeating:

“I want to go home.”

“I want to go home.”

“I want to go home.”

 

You’ve heard the tired pep rallies:

 

“It’s her body. It’s her choice!”

 

“Bush lied!

People died!”

 

“If it doesn’t fit,

You must acquit.”

 

And the jury did acquit. They let a murderer go free because his lawyer created a rhyme.

 

OK, Conservatives. Time to come up with some sound bites of our own. Today begins a series of briefer ideas about the election. I will write them in ways a child could understand, even though these days, children are often more intelligent than adults anyway.

 

To start with, how about a few peppy cheers to stuff away in the arsenal until such time as you need to draw upon one or two of them? Maybe you can amaze a few friends at those preasured cocktail parties. You know, the ones who figure that because you are a Conservative, you cannot possibly be as intelligent, as sensitive or as tolerant as they:

 

Here we go, kids. Knock yourselves out!

 

Hussein lied!

Bush believed him!

(And killed him for it)

 

Obama cares for the poor, the disenfranchised and the helpless,

Unless those people happen to be babies born in an Illinois hospital.

 

Obama will only tax the rich.

By the way, he defines rich as "anybody who works."

 

Obama supported Freddie,

And knocked all of American on its Fannie

 

Obama will bring about change.

And that’s all you will have left in your pocket, change

 

Obama is good at reaching across the isle to make friends.

And look at the variety of friends he has made: a racist pastor, an America hating terrorist, a Jew hating Palestinian and a gangster.

 

Obama knows how to get you a house of your own.

He learned from his friend Tony Rezco, who got him one.

 

 

This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.


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