As the newscasters and pundits and talk show hosts get ready to give
their mouths a post-election vacation (unless this drags on for a month like it
did in 2000) your ol’ pal, Bob is going to distill it all down in a quick
review that will take only minutes to read. Why do I do this for you? Because that’s just the kind of guy I am.
The Debates Between the Candidates
OBAMA: I will bring about change.
McCAIN: You’ll bring change? I’m the maverick!
PALIN: Yes… He’s the maverick!
BIDEN: Let’s just get this straight once and for all. McCain is no
maverick!
Man, oh man! Our country is still
recovering from the depth of discussion showered upon us from those brilliant
exchanges.
The Debates Between the Voters
DEMOCRAT: Why are you voting for McCain?
REPUBLICAN: I’m not voting for McCain. I’m voting for Palin!
DEMOCRAT: No! You are voting
against Obama.
REPUBLICAN: Oh yeah! That too.
DEMOCRAT: Admit it. You don’t want to vote for him, because he’s black.
REPUBLICAN: No, I don’t want to vote for him because he dedicated his own
book to a racist, wrote a book review for a terrorist, and toasted a
Palestinian who talked about the death of Israel. He also
voted against a law that would have stopped infanticide in a hospital. Oh wait.
He promised to bankrupt coal workers and tax the rich. He defines rich as “anyone
who works.” Oh…One more thing: He wants
to pass Hate Speech Legislation which means that after he gets elected, anyone
who speaks against him will be accused of racism. As for the poor chump who dares to ask
him a question beyond the border of talking points? I have just three words: Joe the Plumber!
INDEPENDENT: I think you are both biased. For me, I always wait until the
end to see who I will vote for and I base it upon objective, intellectual,
independent thought.
REPUBLICAN: Such as?
INDEPENDENT: Well, for instance,
in the three debates, McCain frowned too much. He also looked old. Obama looked
young. And Obama sounded presidential. I’m glad I was wise enough to reserve my
judgment until this sound criteria came forth.
This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.
Also by Bob Siegel:
Yes, Obama Really Was Anointed. Let Me Tell You What I Mean.