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When We Do What We Do Not Want You To Do, You Do Not Get To Do Anything About What We Do

Posted by Bob Siegel on Thursday, December 17, 2009 6:30:01 PM


During the first six years George Bush was president, the Democrats said, "It is American tradition to criticize those in power, for it promotes checks and balances. Being a voice of dissent is very patriotic!"

After President Obama was elected, Democrats, now in the majority, said, "It is showing disunity to not support our president!"

But back when Republicans were in power, the minority Democratic Party  said, "The people want bi-partisanship."

Then, when Democrats re-took the House and the Senate, they said, "The people have spoken."

And yet, two years later, when the people passed Proposition 8, Democrats said, "Sometimes people don't know what's best for them. That's why we need judges."

Meanwhile, as polls show that most people are against government controlled health care, Democratic politicians say that the polls are skewed. The polls showing a low approval rating for Obama are also skewed, supposedly.

But when Obama's approval rating was high? "THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!!!"


CONCLUSION: Now tell  the truth: Aren't today's Democratic politicians with all their fast dodge ball and lovable antics, more fun than a barrel of monkeys?


 Also by Bob Siegel:

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired


Bob Siegel is a regular contributer for San Diego News Room and San Diego Rostra.

The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:
12-13-09: Atheist Blog Debate













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I Love Rice Krispies, But On the Internet, I'd Just As Soon Not Have Any Crack, Snackle, or Pop!

Posted by Bob Siegel on Thursday, December 17, 2009 4:33:31 PM

Pop up on a computer has always been annoying. It's not as if any of us loved commercials anyway, but one that leaps into your face like a sneaky, sinister Jack in the Box makes me wonder if there isn't a special place in hell for advertisers who program such intrusive junk. I'm not sure if it reminds me of the solicitor who ambushes people outside a supermarket exit door, or some fly at a picnic who won't get out of my face.

Yes, I have had anti-pop up software installed on my computer, but I guess I need the latest updated version because the snakes seem to be crawling out of their pit again. Why I am writing about this today when there are so many more important news events going on in the world? Well, Sweet Virginia, it seems that while I try to post this blog, a car dealer ad keeps popping up with a brand spanking new feature: When my mouse hits the spot saying,"Click here to remove ad from screen" it does not actually remove the ad. Instead, I am whisked to their website faster than the cyclone blew Dorthy's modest little house to Oz.  It has been happening now for weeks, enough times to see that this is not a fluke or figment of my imagination.

I suppose I should be more forgiving. I may even be guilty of judging these businessmen far too hastily. For all we know, this could be an act of compassion. Perhaps these advertisers, when asking us to visit their sites, want to offer a second chance, just in case we don't know our own minds and miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Yeah, that must be it. It's not unlike our government giving us the free health care they say we have been asking for, even though poll after poll shows that we have not asked for it and even though it's not really free. Hey, how about that? I managed to post my blog about current events after all!


 Also by Bob Siegel:

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired


Bob Siegel is a regular contributer for San Diego News Room and San Diego Rostra.

The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:
12-13-09: Atheist Blog Debate


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Honestly, The Hold is Only For One Day. Trust us!

Posted by Bob Siegel on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 10:42:44 AM

This is the second blog in one week about current bank life. Ever since my bank was taken over by another, it has been an unmitigated nightmare. Don't worry, I'll spare you the real depressing details and instead just share the entertaining stuff, today focusing on a new bank policy. Actually, this rule of thumb is becoming common with many banks, but it's new for our cozy little tight knit checking/saving clubhouse. All deposited checks (unless they come from the same bank) have a one day hold put upon them. OK. Not as convenient as before but no big deal really. Who can't handle waiting just one day until his funds are available? Small stuff, right? Piece of cake. Of course, there are just a few, minor, harmless qualifications to keep in mind:

-The one day hold means "one business day" so anything deposited on a Saturday, counts as a deposit on a Monday and now your funds are not available until Tuesday.

-Oh yes!  I almost forgot. All deposits after 4:00 PM are credited to the following business day. This means any check deposited after 4:00 on Friday counts for the following day, which is Saturday, which is not a business day, which means anything deposited late on Friday counts as Monday, and then with the hold, has funds available on Tuesday. Of course, if Monday is one of those many three day holidays, then anything deposited Friday after 4:00 is not available until Wednesday, because now we have to pretend the deposit took place on Tuesday. Clear?

-Oops! One more thing. Sometimes the bank just puts a hold on your check for any old reason. How fun is that? Your receipt tells you the funds are there. Your automatic teller even tells you the funds are already available because you only transfered money from a business account to your personal account. But then, if some higher up had difficulty reading the computer image of your check, they simply put a flag on your account and you never find out until you make another deposit, look at your receipt, and see about 3000 dollars less than what was there the day before. But don't worry. There's a long line of other disgruntled customers, just waiting for you to take your place so that in an hour or so, those morphing funds can get released again. Besides, it could have been worse. Instead of catching the deposit slip discrepancy right away, I might have tried using some of my own money in my own account. For what? Well, you know, to buy something or maybe pay a bill.

Once, when getting an inappropriate hold straightened out, funds were accidentally released twice, which meant (being the honest guy I am) I had to return the next day to explain that now too much money was in my account.

Who says you need to chase treasure around the world for an adventure? Just walk into your own, humble bank and life will be as thrilling and as dangerous as the latest installment of Indiana Jones!


 Also by Bob Siegel:
 It Never Pays To Be On Time: Vol 1
It Never Pays To Be On Time: Vol. 2


Bob Siegel is a regular contributor for San Diego News Room and San Diego Rostra.

The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net. Call in toll free number: 1-888-344-1170


Download recent show now:
12-13-09: Atheist Blog Debate




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A Time Honored, Traditional Untruth

Posted by Bob Siegel on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 1:21:03 AM

Our country has believed in this practice for many years. It's taught in law school. It's enforced by the bench. Presidents and senators believe in it. So do most other people. Only one problem: It is not true and if we continue believing such mythology, our very democracy will unravel before our eyes.

Read all about it in my latest essay for San Diego Rostra:

Myth: "It Is the Job of The Supreme Court To Interpret the Constitution






Bob Siegel is a regular contributor for San Diego News Room and San Diego Rostra.

The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.


Download recent show now:
12-13-09: Atheist Blog Debate





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Tough Love Verses Gentle Love

Posted by Bob Siegel on Monday, December 14, 2009 1:08:24 PM

On this week's BOB SIEGEL SHOW:

As a general rule, I treat atheists and other skeptics with respect. On the other hand, is there a place for what Christians sometimes call "tough love?" I believe there is, and in the gospels we see examples of Jesus using both. It all depended upon whom He was talking to. Notice the difference between the gentle, merciful way in which Jesus treated the woman caught in adultery and the extremely harsh comments aimed at the Pharisees. (Matt 23)

What kinds of occasions call for alternative approaches? This discussion (inspired by some atheist blog comments) is one of many themes explored.

ALSO...

Theology:

-Are there historical testimonies of Jesus outside the New Testament?
-Will Elijah return before the Second Coming of Christ?
-Was John the Baptist a reincarnation of Elijah?

Current Events:

-Does the constitution really give the Supreme Court the right to interpret the constitution?
-Does the constitution really teach "separation between church and state?"

Pop Culture:

Film critic, Mark Bubien joins us to recommend some of his favorite recent releases on Blue Ray, concentrating on films with Christian type messages.

Finally:

I received an E Mail asking me why I don't run for public office. Hear my response, as if it's keeping any of you up at nights:)

This program originally broadcast on December 13, 2009 and can now be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.


Download recent show now:
12-13-09: Atheist Blog Debate



Bob Siegel is a regular contributor for San Diego News Room and San Diego Rostra.

The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

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Freedom? Oh, You Mean That Old Fashioned Idea? The Bridge To the Past?

Posted by Bob Siegel on Friday, December 11, 2009 9:19:15 PM

Have you heard the latest?  In the midst of all this talk about Global Warming and Health Care, the House just passed another modest, unknown, bill. It slipped through as easily as "Hate Crimes" (that other freedom suppressor which nobody is talking about). You're going to love this one. It gives our government the right to seize large corporations, not merely companies asking for a bail out, mind you, ANY COMPANY THEY WANT!!!  Well, OK, not just any company. First they have to deem its potential failure as being bad for our economy. Whew! What a relief!  For a moment there, this news story had me worried. Our administration and congress have shown such skill at assessing economic health, I just can't wait to hear what objective criteria they will assemble to to play a game of musical corporation chairs.

Merry Christmas!  This Jack in the Box passed the House. Now Obama is trying to encourage the Senate to wind the music and wait for the POP!!!

Change you can believe in.  I'll say this: He was speaking the truth. Unfortunately, it's change Thomas Jefferson and John Adams would not have believed in.


 Also by Bob Siegel:

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:

12-6-09: The "Living" Atheist Sign



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It Never Pays To Be On Time: Vol. 2

Posted by Bob Siegel on Thursday, December 10, 2009 5:33:30 PM

NOTE:  Although this article is a self contained story, you might enjoy the companion piece which came first:

 It Never Pays To Be On Time: Vol 1


Everybody knows how long it can take to park at Disneyland. Well, if not everybody, at least my girlfriend Nancy and I know. Since we have those cheaper, annual passes, the drill is quite familiar to us. On this crisp, chipper morning, we planned on arriving at the "Mickey and Friends" parking structure with enough time to catch the shuttle and arrive at least close to when the Happiest Place On Earth opened its pearly gates.

Much to our irritation and disappointment, all Disneyland parking was closed, with Magic Kingdom traffic being redirected through all kinds of downtown Anaheim streets on a red cone labyrinth that rivaled Mr. Toads Wild Ride.

Like cattle, we (along with hundreds of other automobiles) were herded into the parking garage of a hotel where we were instructed to wait for a shuttle bus back to Disneyland. If you're guessing right now that Nancy and I were curious enough to ask what was going on, then you too, (as Jeff Foxworthy would put it) are smarter than a 5th grader.

Anyway, here's the story: Disneyland anticipated a very busy day and made a special deal with this hotel because they were expecting an unusually large crowd, so big, their own parking structures would not be able to hold all the cars. And so, for the sake of those poor, unfortunate, fashionably late pilgrims who might arrive in the middle of the day, Disney's parking garages were kept empty and waiting.

It was an extra half hour to be redirected to the hotel, followed by an additional half hour waiting around for the bus with its drive back through traffic.  An hour delay because of our bright idea about showing up early! Exactly why they chose to make things easy on the tardy and punish those who were dumb enough to get there on time, I'm sure I don't know. Perhaps they were taking their cue from typical, present-day America, which seems to reward and bail out every single citizen (or non citizen) except the responsible.

Oh well. Next time I'll follow the example of Alice in Wonderland's white rabbit. I guess by being late, that crafty old critter knew what he was doing after all.


Also by Bob Siegel:

Wanna read about another Disneyland adventure with your ol' pal Bob?  Then try this:
 E Tu Disneyland?

Wanna read about something more important than Disneyland? This try this:
Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:

12-6-09: The "Living" Atheist Sign






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It Never Pays To Be On Time: Vol 1

Posted by Bob Siegel on Thursday, December 10, 2009 4:14:19 PM

This morning, I needed to get a checking account problem straightened out, not the kind of simple situation a teller could take care of. No, this needed one of the heavy guns, somebody from Customer Service. Ever since my bank was bought out by another bank, morning problem solving became as common as the chirping of birds and the dew on a windshield. Because this little scenario had already been repeated with more performances than Broadway's  Le Miserables,  I could easily estimate my time sitting in one of those comfortable chairs while some five people were ahead of me. Determined to beat the system, I awakened early, drove to the local branch (which opens at 9:00) and arrived at 9:02. Only one person was ahead of me. Good job, Bob. No waiting for five people this time. And then, looking around, I realized that only one of the Customer Service representatives was even in yet and he (alas) was assisting the first fellow who, evidently, pressed his face against the door at 8:49, gambling that one of their watches would be a minute fast. Naturally, this "earlier bird" had thirty minutes worth of problems, leaving me with the same, obligatory half hour wait.

No, I was not delayed by a bunch of customers. Instead, I had to wait around for all the bankers to roll in.  Somewhere, in some shady board meeting around a nice, polished, oak table, careful, delicate strategy figures out how to make our banks just as inconvenient to their customers as is humanly possible.

Financial institutions aren't quite as fun as a day at Disneyland, are they? Then again, maybe they are. Don't miss Part Two:

 It Never Pays To Be On Time: Vol. 2





The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:

12-6-09: The "Living" Atheist Sign


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Sure., The Front of The Dollar Bill Looks Good. Now, Turn It Over!

Posted by Bob Siegel on Wednesday, December 09, 2009 6:34:59 PM

Obama is planning now on using some of that stimulus money to help out small businesses. Sounds good. In fact, it sounds great! Forgive me for being just a little cautious.  After all, this man is an expert at sounding good. Free health care sounds good until we notice the House version of the bill putting people in jail if they do not purchase this "free health care."  Helping  the auto industry also sounded good until the government started telling GM what kinds of cars they could build or not build and how environmentally friendly they had to be. (Translation: how small they had to be)  And yes, helping the banks sounded good until the government placed its nose into discussions of various bank loans; who to give them to and whose unpaid mortgages to renegotiate. (the kinds of shenanigans, incidentally, which sunk our economy in the first place through the fun help of  Freddie, Fannie, ACORN, and other Looney Tunes)

So now, the freest businessmen in our country; small, independent entrepreneurs, will be in that same unenviable position of owing Obama some gratitude.

A crisp, green dollar bill always feels like manna from above until we read the fine print on the back. No, I don't mean that pyramid with the eye which has provoked so many conspiracy theories. I mean the microscopic fine print saying, "Now the government will start controlling your modest little Mom and Pop business." Sweet!

I'm reminded of the first scene in The Godfather, when Vito Corleone agreed to grant a favor:  "Some day, (and that day may never come) you'll be called upon to perform a small service. But until that time, consider this a gift on my daughter's wedding day."


 Also by Bob Siegel:

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:

12-6-09: The "Living" Atheist Sign


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If Only He Was Harry Houdini

Posted by Bob Siegel on Wednesday, December 09, 2009 4:32:26 AM

Harry Reid claims that anyone opposing health care can be compared to people who did not want to end slavery.

Harry, didn't you listen to Nancy Pelosi's tearful little speech about toning town the rhetoric?  Oh well. Don't worry about it. Nancy didn't listen to her own speech either. She was the one who compared health care protesters to Nazis.

Of course, to be fair, the Dynamic Duo meant well. They were merely trying to provoke "bi-partisanship." Hmm...If only Harry Reid were Harry Houdini, he could magically end all this nasty disunity. But then, it would mean he had succeeded in making himself and Nancy disappear.



Also by Bob Siegel:
Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:

12-6-09: The "Living" Atheist Sign

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Atheist Sign Gains Enough Life To Rival The Living Christmas Tree

Posted by Bob Siegel on Monday, December 07, 2009 9:31:42 PM


On this week's BOB SIEGEL SHOW:

The atheist sign in San Diego, mixed with my brief comments in The San Diego Union, has morphed into a controversy all over the Blogosphere around the country. One atheist blog alone had 500 comments and there were many other such blogs. Not all atheist responses were negative. For example, attached as a comment to my Op-Ed piece for San Diego News Room, you can read a surprisingly positive comment from an atheist.

In any event, many comments, positive and negative are read over the air as we devote the high majority of our show to a very provocative subject.

This program originally aired on 12-6-09 and can now be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download Now:

12-6-09: The "Living" Atheist Sign


The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net. Call in toll free number: 1-888-344-1170

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Birthdays Are Great, But When I Was a Little Younger, They Were a Little Happier

Posted by Bob Siegel on Saturday, December 05, 2009 11:14:42 AM

This week, I turned 56. Remember when you were little? Your birthday was exciting for several reasons; the presents, of course, along with cake and ice cream and parties. But you were also thrilled, and I mean literally ecstatic to be a year older.  Try introducing a 6 year old as 6 and watch them correct you, "Six and a half!"  Flash forward. When that same person is 21, but they still get carded at a bar, they find it insulting. Would they believe us if we told them that when they turn a little older, they will love being carded?

Alas, when we are young, we want to be old and want to look old. Then, what happens when we do get older? We want to be young again, or at least hear people telling us we look young, nutty human beings that we are, unable to ever be satisfied.

This year, my kids were particularly kind to me, telling me that I still look young, with my full head of dark hair. (Well mostly dark but I'll take whatever bone they throw me.)  When I was 30, everyone told me I looked 20. When I was 40, everyone told me I looked 30. When I turned 50, everyone told me I looked 40. Hmm...Someday I'll be 100 and everyone will tell me I look 90. So, big deal. Somehow I have a feeling the difference will be negligible.

Birthdays. Time to remember the hope of the resurrection where we will look as we looked at our best, even better, and for all of eternity. No, God does not support vanity. But God does offer hope.



Also by Bob Siegel

Reviews of Holiday Videos


In addition to his seminary education, Bob Siegel holds a degree in Drama from San Jose State University. He has written 14 different plays, including, the award winning, Eternal Reach.
The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net. Call in toll free number: 1-888-344-1170

Download recent show now:
11-29-09: Jesus: Savior Only, Or Also Lord?

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Another of Those Marvelous Consistencies

Posted by Bob Siegel on Friday, December 04, 2009 5:28:27 PM

In an earlier blog this week, I commented on how Chris Matthews has turned against his hero, Obama. The article is linked below, so, I will not need to repeat the points I made earlier.

Of course, Matthews is not alone. Many Leftist pundits, including the self-righteous bleeding heart, Michael Moore, are literally pillaging the president for being willing to send more troops into Afghanistan.

Interesting: When people on the Left want to criticise Obama, (and some of us were wondering if we would live to see the day) they do so because the issue of war is important to them. That's fine. I do not agree with their position on war, but they are certainly entitled to their opinion and I can respect their opinion.  I do find it interesting, however, that when people on the Right criticise the very same  president for different reasons, the Left immediately writes it off to "racism." In their minds, we couldn't possibly be concerned about the free market, or the unborn child, or a weakened country in the face of Islamo-Terroirsm. Oh no! If anyone from the Right expresses an issue of concern, he is only masking his true agenda; an unwillingness to appreciate an African-American president! Period! End of conversation! It cannot possibly be anything else!

You see? The Left speaks out of thoughtfulness and careful reflection. The Right is incapable of such nuanced skill. Or so the Left thinks, in the Mother Goose fantasy world they continue to live in.

Do you want to know what's really sad?  How many in our country have even paused to notice this inconsistency? The outspoken Leftist talking heads seem completely unaware of it. They just blissfully press on with their arrogant smiles, unaware of any hypocrisy.


 Also by Bob Siegel

Congratulations Matthews!

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

Download recent show now:
11-29-09: Jesus: Savior Only, Or Also Lord?







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Who Said Golf Wasn't An Exciting Sport?

Posted by Bob Siegel on Thursday, December 03, 2009 11:45:09 AM

Who said golf wasn't an exciting sport?  Certainly not tabloid news. Ooops...I meant to say "mainstream media."  Actually, this is all over the new media as well (Fox, Talk Radio, etc.)

OK... I may as well follow the pack and offer my own entry. Here we go.  This is what I have to say about Tiger Woods finding himself under a new and different kind of spotlight:

N O T H I N G!

Absolutely nothing! This is between him and his family. It's none of my business. It's none of your business, and let me break it to the media: Just because the man is a famous, talented, golf celebrity, that doesn't automatically make it your business either! You may fall back on the tired cliche', "People have a right to know," but frankly, that's a lot of hogwash. The people only have a right to know when it's news that affects their lives. I don't mean to say this isn't important news. I mean to say this should not be considered news, period!

Apart from the privacy families deserve, it's not like there aren't one or two more important things going on in our country right now, matters that are history making, paths our nation has never traveled down before. And we're going to instead focus on Tiger Woods?  Sad low time for you, America.


 Also by Bob Siegel

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



 The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net

Download recent show now:
11-29-09: Jesus: Savior Only, Or Also Lord?






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A Man For All Seasons (All Directions Too)

Posted by Bob Siegel on Wednesday, December 02, 2009 12:23:02 PM

What? You say you missed President Obama's speech at West Point last night, even though he broadcast at the same time he always does, during the dinner hour on the west coast, and prime time on the east coast, preempting everyone's  favorite TV shows? Well, cheer up!  Your ol' pal, Bob is going to carry the day once again by offering some keen, nifty, rad, sweet cliff notes, and not just any cliff notes; the special "read between the lines" edition.

Here we go: Enjoy!

"I want to remind everyone about what an important war we have going on in Afghanistan. The Taliban harbored those horrible terrorists who authorized the attack on 9/11. And remember, should this dangerous, evil movement overthrow the government of Pakistan right next door, they will acquire a nuclear weapon and we know people like that would not hesitate to use such a weapon and this is simply not acceptable (although I'm not doing much about Iran's nuclear weapon in the hands of a man who denies the holocaust and threatens to wipe out all Jews). Therefore, because Afghanistan is the good war, instead of that mean and nasty and unnecessary war George Bush got us into, I am going to send in 30.000 more troops. But I will only send them in such a way that we make plans now about bringing them home. Hear that kids?  Good news and bad news! You're shipping out! You're coming home! We need a timetable, so our troops will definitely withdraw in 18 months, although, that will only begin the withdrawal. We won't complete the exodus without assessing the situation and I won't call it an exodus because that word sounds kind of Jewish and would offend our Muslim friends (not the ones trying to kill us, the others) but whatever we call it, we will leave (or not leave) so I guess that really isn't a time table after all, but it kind of sort of is. To those on the the Left, remember we are withdrawing in 18 months! Come on guys, chill out! So you're against this war. You can hang with me for 18 months, can't you? It's just 18 months for crying out loud! I mean, that's nothing! And for you on the Right, don't worry. We are only beginning to leave in 18 months! In fact (Heh Heh) We might not really leave anyway. You see, on one hand we need to increase our deployment, but on the other hand we need to decrease our deployment. There are always two hands, a left hand and a right hand and that's why I take care of both of my hands, especially since 18 months brings us just a few months shy of my reelection bid and I can read the polls at that time and see how people feel about the war before I start debating new challengers. Pretty cool how I figured out that 18 month number, isn't it?  And you all thought I just pulled a number out of a hat. A lot you know! But, anyway, that election is a long way off. Meanwhile, for now, let me tell you how I feel about the war: It's an extremely important cause because not only are our national interests at stake, the interests of THE ENTIRE  WORLD are at stake, so we absolutely, positively must defeat this enemy unless we have not defeated them in 18 months in which case we may or may not stay but even if we leave, they are not totally our responsibility anyway, despite the fact that they hate us and have sworn to destroy us even if they have to die in the process and receive 71 virgins tabot. After all, the peaceful Muslim governments of Pakistan and Afghanistan need to take care of the not so peaceful Muslims who have hijacked this great world religion founded by a man who taught Jihad. You see, instead of paying attention to what Mohammad actually taught, those Taliban and al-Qaeda dudes are twisting his words and preaching, well, I guess they're preaching what he taught, but remember, Islam is a religion of peace. And so, my fellow Americans, on the one hand, we send more troops.  On the other hand, we plan now to have less troops. And folks, just quit fighting about all this. Our country as been too divisive lately. Well , not everyone. Not the Democrats. Just those Republicans. If they would simply do everything my way, we could stop all the bi-partisanship. Did I mention that I inherited their mess? Yeah, I inherited it from them and their leader, George Bush, the guy I ran against in the last election and the guy I'll run against in the next election. (McCain? Who's that?) Because if my strategy works in Afghanistan, I will take a bow, but if the situation is still problematic, remember, George Bush started this mess, although I agreed with him about the Afghanistan thing but we are doing poorly in Afghanistan because he brought us into Iraq and that will still be the reason we have problems over there in 18 months if we happen to have them.  Oh yeah. One more thing. Don't forget, America with all its faults has done more to help the world financially and militarily than any other nation. We are the best country in the world, even though I recently traveled around the world apologizing for what a bad country we were. But I had to do that. After all, our reputation was bad before I took office because, (like I keep telling you) I inherited this mess from GEORGE W. BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!"


 Also by Bob Siegel

Words and Phrases That Should Be Permanently Retired



The Bob Siegel Show can be heard every Sunday at 3:00 PM and Saturdays at 11:00 PM (Pacific Time) on KCBQ 1170 on the dial or KCBQ.com to listen live over the internet. Shows can also be downloaded from www.bobsiegel.net.

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